I’ve been there.

It was 2001. Portal Games had folded. I had no money. My bank accounts were frozen. Debt collectors were knocking. I was done.

I posted a short message in the Polish RPG discussion group—and then I shut myself off. All my dreams had shattered. I sat in front of the TV, numb. These were some of the grimmest weeks of my life.

I blame Martin Wallace. I blame Vital Lacerda. And yes, I’ll take some of the blame myself.

Martin designed Brass — an economic game about some old stuff like the coal industry. Vital is incredibly talented, but instead of creating a brilliant game about international trade, he made Kanban, a game about cars. And me? I designed an economic simulation of the fashion industry.

We could have saved the whole thing, but we chose coal, cars, and fashion instead. And so here we are — Trump reactivates coal mines in the US, he buys himself a new Tesla, and wears the most fashionable golf outfits the world has ever seen. I saw pics — he has the best trousers any other president ever had.

It’s all happening because of Wallace, Lacerda, and Trzewiczek.

And yes, I know you might doubt if anyone at the White House plays board games at all. You might even want to comfort me and say, “Ignacy, it’s not your fault.”

Allow me to disagree. They love to play some games. 

He for sure loves Scrabble. Did you know you can get 12 points for a good old-fashioned word like „groceries”? And he knows many words, the best words, he can even create new ones. He is great at Scrabble, he really is. 

Diplomacy taught him how to negotiate with world leaders. And I tell you this, if you are a very stable genius, you will easily win this game. You make the dumbest offers, and your friends at some point will agree — just keep repeating them over and over.  It’s called consequence, baby!

And then there is, of course, the one and only — Monopoly! A board game with only one winning strategy — screw everybody else and get rich by taking their money. His Fav Game of All Time.

Trust me, they are playing board games. Unfortunately, not the right ones.

So, I’m going to whine. Brew yourself a cup of coffee, get comfortable, and let’s begin. The life of a board game publisher is unfair. A comic book publisher, a book publisher, or even a YouTuber—they all have it easier. How they have it easier? When it comes to covers. Yes, I’m whinening about covers.

Officially, my job title is „board game publisher,” but those of you who know me well are aware that I’ve spent the last decade primarily as the head of the marketing department. In that department, everything revolved around A/B testing, analyzing reactions, and doing experiments. It was all about running three ads and seeing which performed better. About uploading a video to YouTube, then changing the thumbnail after two days to see if it improved click-through rates. About sending out newsletters with two different subject lines to see which achieved a higher open rate.

July 2005, the beginnings of the gaming industry in Poland. My friends from Galakta Games release „The Lord of the Rings: Confrontation” in the budding Polish market. Words cannot express how excited I am. Well, let me try – I’m so excited that I’m going nuts. I’m so excited that I’m traveling to Krakow to get a copy. I bring it home. I read the rulebook, set up the game. I’m on fire with enthusiasm like Stannis’ fleet. I explain the rules to my wife, we play, Frodo rushes into Mordor, I win, it’s wonderful.

Only one being in the world can bring a person down to earth with a single word. That being in question is the wife. She can do that. „Boring,” says Merry. One word. I put the game back into the box. I place it on the shelf. Stannis dies.

Peter in the Board Game Wargames group writes about the game „The King in the North” and explains that it draws inspiration from the game systems of „Granada” and „Sekigahara,” but it has been adapted to the realities of the Carlist Wars conflict. You probably don’t understand much of this, so let me add some more doubts – it’s worth knowing that „Granada,” in turn, uses the game rules of „Sekigahara,” but modifies them to fit the wars on the Iberian Peninsula in the 15th century.

Alright, what are we talking about? What’s going on?! What wars, what peninsula? What am I reading?!

Let me explain.