I had the honor to receive a few nominations and awards from the Dice Tower, but this week I’ve decided to nominate myself for another one. You can never have enough awards. It all started at 7:54 am when I checked out of my hotel room at Caribe Royale in Orlando, got into the car, and headed to the airport. The Dice Tower East has come to an end; time to go back home.

An hour and a bit later, I returned the car to the rental company, dropped off my suitcase, and went through a security check. Everything went smoothly. Now I have a two-hour wait for the flight, and then we can take off.

Four hours later, I’m still in Orlando. What’s worse, I’ve been on the plane for two hours, and the plane is still on the ground.

„As you can see on your phones and read in the news, there is extreme weather over the eastern coastline, and we can’t take off. A new flight route is being determined.”

As you may know, I’m afraid of flying. You can imagine if the words „extreme weather” put me in a perfectly cheerful mood, right?

„Here’s the captain speaking again; I have a new update. We have been assigned a new route, but unfortunately, the storm is moving, and we can’t use it after all. New route is being determined.”

I’m sitting in my seat, damp as a mouse, imagining those people at the airport, looking where lightning strikes and drawing paths and short windows of opportunity on the map to sneak through this madness with dry feet. I cannot wait to experience this. I really am. 

„Here’s the captain again; we have been given another route. Please immediately take your seats and fasten your seat belts. We are low on fuel, and we need to take off immediately.” The captain hadn’t even finished the sentence, and the plane started accelerating.

My heart jumps out of my chest, my face is pale as a wall. We are low on fuel?! We’re taking off?! Whaaat?!

I faint. I wake up quickly, shaking as if I’m locked in a barrel and rolling down a great canyon.

„Please, don’t expect smooth travel today. Please keep your seat belts fastened at all times,” the captain says. I’m no longer pale. I’m deathly pale. I am not sure if I am on a plane or a rollercoaster.

At 4 pm, we arrive in Newark. My legs feel like cotton. My hands are trembling. We’ve been traveling for 8 hours, and I’ve aged at least a few years during that time.

We have a flight to Frankfurt in 6 hours, so I have time for tea and to calm down. It’ll be useful because there’s another adventure around the corner. Somewhere around 9 pm, I was notified that the flight to Frankfurt would be delayed.

The notification is not lying. It’s delayed by almost an hour and a half. The official information we receive is that the crew is conducting additional security tests. I don’t know if I should feel relieved or scared. It’s the fourteenth hour of the journey. In fact, I don’t feel anything anymore…

We landed in Frankfurt 8 hours later, just before 1 pm local time. The plane we were supposed to take to Katowice was already halfway to Poland.

When I find the United office at the airport, I’m told that there’s no flight to Katowice today. But they can send me to Warsaw; from there, I can reach Katowice. It’s the 24th hour of the trip. I don’t care anymore. I can fly to Warsaw. Whatever.

At the gate, we find out that the flight is overbooked, and they need to bump 2 people off. They offer 250 euros as an apology. There are no volunteers. They will probably draw lots. If they pick me, I might just shoot myself.

They drew someone else. I can fly to Warsaw. Well, I can’t because the flight is delayed, but what’s delayed is not lost. It’s the 27th hour of the journey. I’m on the plane.

We land in Warsaw. Tea. Sandwich. Three hours of waiting for the flight to Katowice.

The gates open. 30th hour of our travel. We can fly.

No, actually, we can’t.

„You’re not in the system,” says the airline employee.

„What?!” Merry asks, and let me tell you one thing. Merry is my wife. I know that tone. I know that look. I know she’s about to murder him.

„More precisely, you are in the system but not accepted on the flight. Someone from United forgot to click to add you to the flight.”

The guy looks up from the computer monitor, looks at Merry, and realizes that the battle for his life has just begun. He sees I don’t care anymore, but Merry will tear his head off if we don’t get on board.

The guy swallows, picks up the phone, and makes a call: „Listen, I have two dropouts here from Frankfurt…”

He referred to Merry as a „dropout.” Well, damn, he’s a brave guy. She is just staring at him. 

A few minutes later he prints our boarding passes.

„And what about our suitcase?” Merry asks.

The guy calls the warehouse. He gives them the suitcase number. He talks to someone for a while, then asks Merry, „Is it a yellow one?”

„Yes, a yellow one with pineapples,” if words could kill, half the people on board would have a heart attack right now.

„We’ll deliver it,” the guy promises. He knows it is a matter of life or death right now.

On the way to the plane, we see our suitcase. It stands there, lonely and abandoned, it’s in the system but not accepted, a dropout from Frankfurt, sad and lost.

We board the plane. We fund everyone on board an additional 30 minutes of delay as our suitcase is being delivered to the plane.

We land in Katowice. We get into the car. We arrive home just before 1 a.m. In total, 34 hours and 30 minutes.

***

What does this have to do with the Dice Tower award? Well, The Dice Tower East is an amazing event, a convention that I’m totally addicted to. I go back there every year, and in 2024, I’ll get on a plane and head to Orlando again.

However, I hereby officially apply for The Dice Tower: The Most Dedicated Attendee award!